you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
