i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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