chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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