glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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