no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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