Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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