My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
