Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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