My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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