i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
