I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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