Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
