Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
