Dual....:-)
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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