you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
