When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have aggressive nipples.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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