just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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