I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
