party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
