but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
