KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
