I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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