Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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