I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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