I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize