We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
