he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
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I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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