hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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