my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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