I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
