Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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