Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
