i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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