yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
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Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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