Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
tonight lets celebrate not being married
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize