is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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