I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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