we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
