I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Jerry, you need to find god
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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