if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fuck appropriateness.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
