I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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