i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
