I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
