Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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