so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
