I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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