ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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