I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
