And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
