my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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