i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
