Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I have aggressive nipples.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
