Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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