We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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