Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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