she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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