Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
