Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
