I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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