Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
