love makes seman taste better
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
