He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
