Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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