Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
